Is it selfish to give?
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Is it selfish to give? Some would argue that certain givers give to feel good about themselves (think the millionaire who donates to their alma mater to get a building named after them). Others will actually give from a place of authentic compassion for the well being of another.
I’ve learned to ignore thinking about it as an act of selfishness, so long as it’s coming from that place, and exercising the muscle of compassion so that serving others can become an actual habit of day to day existence.
You probably know some people in your life that are super strong supporter personalities, and giving is inherently baked into their DNA, often at the expense of their own wellbeing.
Much like any area of your life that you seek to improve, I believe it’s possible to work on your ability to connect compassionately and give authentically to EVERYONE without subtracting from your own wellbeing.
In an effort to consistently give to the people in my niched community of real estate entrepreneurs, I wanted to give more of myself other than posts/online interactions. I wanted to commit to give some one-on-one time every single day. Father Time is the MOST valuable thing you can give.
How would I fill this time? I wanted to do something simple, yet profoundly helpful based on my experience in the real estate business world.
I know most entrepreneurs are battling with the feeling of being “stuck” in their business, and not always accepting the thing they most fear doing is likely what they need to step into.
While I don’t claim to know everything by any means, I’m pretty good at digging to find that one thing that’s holding someone back, then providing a tangible “next step” that they can focus on to move forward and achieve some clarity around that thing. It’s a skill I’m continually seeking to improve.
So, I set up a block of just 15 minutes at 3PM every single day and put up a private Calendly link on my Facebook group, committing to talk with one new person every day for the foreseeable future…
Amazingly, I now have well over month of calls scheduled. Blown away…I’m grateful that people want to talk to me at all! This could be a great idea for others that have somewhat of a “following” or a tribe of like-minded friends for several reasons:
It holds you accountable to be in the “giving mode” every single day…you schedule your giving in and it becomes habitual…this will resonate through to other aspects of your daily interactions as well.
Also, limiting yourself to 15 minutes makes it a fun challenge to really try to provide as much direct value as you can in the shortest amount of time. It’s ok if you go over a few minutes. You’ll get really good at asking the right questions, like:
“What are you not doing right now that you know you should be doing? What’s at the root of that inaction?”
Also, you’ll build a community of raving fans and customers that know you have a heart and are representing a company or brand with an authentic purpose…an “evolved enterprise” as entrepreneur Yanik Silver touts.
Furthermore, you’ll learn more about the needs of the people you want to serve most, so you can find solutions for them in the future.
So far the calls have been great. Let me know if anyone else takes on a commitment like this, would love to chat with you about it! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Part of what makes us human is a deeper desire to share your being/consciousness with others.
Maybe it’s my ego talking, but maybe that’s why the ego exists in the first place…as an evolutionary way humans have adapted to share a part of themselves so that you aren’t hogging your unique gifts, your time, your resources, and your wisdom. There’s a certain pleasure to knowing that you’re not keeping yourself from the world. It’s why there are millions and millions of blogs just like this one online.
Cheers to not feeling selfish for giving, and sharing your awesome self with the world!